Reward Accomplishments If You Break Your Habits

Nov 18, 2025

Life becomes more worth living when you know that for every good thing that you did, a reward is bound to come your way. By this time, you already know that white-knuckling your way through change rarely works for long. Willpower alone is not the problem. The problem is the way you treat yourself while you are changing.

High achieving women are experts at pushing themselves. Many of us learned early that love, approval and safety were tied to performance. So we built habits around overworking, overgiving and pretending we are fine.

Breaking those habits is not just about discipline. It is also about kindness.

The habits you are really breaking

When you think about “breaking a habit,” you might think of things like:

Scrolling instead of sleeping
Saying yes when you want to say no
Going from task to task without a break

Underneath those habits are deeper patterns:

People-pleasing to avoid disappointment
Perfectionism to avoid criticism
Performing to feel worthy

These are not small changes. You are rewiring how you show up in the world. That deserves more than a quick “good job” and then onto the next thing.

Why rewards matter for high achievers

Many driven women are uncomfortable with the idea of rewards. We say things like:

“It is not a big deal. I should be doing this anyway.”
“I will celebrate when I finally hit the big goal.”
“Other people have it harder. I should not make a fuss.”

The problem is that you keep moving the finish line. You achieve something that terrified you six months ago and call it "no big deal." You do not let your brain or body register that something new and good has happened.

Rewards help you:

Teach your brain that change is safe, not scary
Anchor new habits in positive emotion instead of pressure
Stop living in a constant state of "not enough yet"

Choosing rewards that truly support you

Not every reward is helpful. Some are just another way to numb out and avoid feeling. The best rewards are the ones that are aligned with who you are becoming.

Think about rewards that:

Bring you real joy, not just quick relief
Nourish your body or soul
Reflect the level of courage it took to make the change

Examples:

After setting a hard boundary, treat yourself to a quiet solo coffee where you actually sit and enjoy it
After a month of keeping your evenings work-free, plan a simple day trip or experience that lights you up
After consistently choosing rest over another late-night task, invest in something that supports your rest, like cozy bedding or a calming evening routine

A simple framework to break a habit and reward yourself

Try this:

Pick one habit to shift
Not ten. One. For example: “I will no longer check my work email after 7 p.m.”
Define the new behavior
“Instead of checking email, I will read, stretch, or spend present time with my family.”
Choose a realistic time frame
Commit to 14 or 30 days. Put it on your calendar.
Decide the reward in advance
Make it something you can look forward to and that feels meaningful to you.
Track progress with compassion
If you slip, you are not starting from zero. You are learning. Get curious instead of cruel.
Actually receive the reward
When you reach your time frame, follow through. Do not talk yourself out of it. Let your whole system feel, "I did something hard and I honor that."

You are worth celebrating

Breaking old habits of performing, perfecting and people-pleasing is sacred work. You are not just trying to “be more productive.” You are reclaiming your joy and your life.

Ask yourself:

What is one habit I am ready to release because it keeps me stuck in exhaustion?
What small but meaningful reward would make this journey feel supported, not punished?

You are allowed to be proud of yourself. You are allowed to mark your progress. You are allowed to enjoy the woman you are becoming, not just race to the next version.